He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
