I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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