so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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