:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
