and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
