Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
