Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I had to cum in my sink.
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