Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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