guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
