Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
