That's intense
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
