So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The ass gains better be worth it
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