so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
