There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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