That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
