dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
