I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
