The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
