I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
