It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
