Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
