Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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