Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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