can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
