Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
