youre lurking in front of me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
