and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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