Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
