Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
