Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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