you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
