If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize