my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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