ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
