Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
