Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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