Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize