Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
