So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
