people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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