shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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