For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You ruined the universe
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
