I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
