Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
