was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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