At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The power of my boobs compel you
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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