so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
