I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
