Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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