his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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